Sardar Jokz..

Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees to wake him up when the station arrived. This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 rupees, the Sardarji deserved more service. So, when the Sardarji fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard.
When the station arrived, the Sardarji was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror. Said his wife " What's the matter ?" Replied he "The cheat on the train has taken my 20 rupees and woken up someone else"
* * * *

Our Sardar is walking down the street and sees a man jumping up and down on a manhole cover yelling "86, 86, 86". He asks the man, "Excuse me, but why are you jumping up and down on this manhole cover and yelling '86, 86, 86'?" The man says, "Well, I can't tell you that, but if you really want to know, I can let you go under there and findout.
He thinks for a moment, then his curiosity gets the better of him, and he says, "Okay." The man lifts the manhole cover, He steps into the manhole, and the man puts the manhole cover back and starts jumping up and down on it yelling "87, 87, 87"...
* * * *


One Sardar was enjoying sun on a beach in UK. A lady came and asked him, “Are you relaxing?”
Sardar answered, “No I am Banta Singh.”
Another guy came and asked the same question. Sardar answered “No no me! Banta Singh.” Sardar was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place. While walking he saw another Sardar enjoying the beach.
He went and asked him, “Are you relaxing?” The other Sardar was much educated and answered “Yes I am relaxing. The Sardar slapped him on his face and said, “Idiot, sab tere ko wahahn dhoond rahe hai aur tu yahaan aaram kar raha hai.”

* * * *

Sardar : I hav'nt slept all nite in the train.
Friend : why?
Sardar : Got upper berth.
Friend : why didn't you exchange?
Sardar : Oye, there was nobody to exchange in the lower berth..


* * * *


Bill and Sardarji walk into a fast food joint one afternoon to get lunch. Bill orders and the cashier gives him his meal. Sardarji goes up to order and the cashier greets him with "Hello Sardarji! How are you? Hey everybody! Sardarji's here!" Everybody in the restaurant comes up and says hello to Sardarji. After everyone has greeted him, Bill and Sardarji sit down and begin to eat.
"Sardarji, you're pretty popular!" says Bill. "I'm the most popular man in the world," says Sardarji.

"Now Sardarji," says Bill, your pretty popular but you're not the most popular man in the world."

"Oh yeah," Sardarji replies "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I'm friends with anybody you can name!"

"That so?" answers Bill, "How about the President of the United States?"

"Let's go!" says Sardarji.

The two fly to Washington and knock on the front door of the White House. The president answers, "Sardarji! How are you doing? I haven't seen you in ages!" The three go play a round of golf and then leave.

"That was luck!" says Bill, "Two thousand says your not friends with the Queen of England!"

"Let's go!" says Sardarji.

The two fly to Buckingham Palace and, sure enough, are greeted by the Queen. ''Hello Sardarji my boy! What have you been up to these days?" They enter the palace and have some tea and leave.

Frustrated, Bill says, "Double or nothing, you don't know the Pope!"

"Benny!" says Sardarji, "Let's go!"

When they get to the Vatican, Sardarji instructs Bill to wait outside and Sardarji will come out on the balcony with his arm around the Pope. After a while, a crowd gathers to hear the Pope speak. And as told by Sardarji, when the Pope came out, Sardarji's arm was wrapped around him. Sardarji looks down from the balcony and see's Bill passed out on the ground. He rushes down and wakes him up.

"Bill! Bill! Wake up!" Bill opens his eyes and says,

"Sardarji. You're the most popular man in the world."

"I told you that, Bill," says Sardarji, "but you didn't faint when I knew the President! You didn't faint when I knew the Queen!"

"Well I was shocked that you knew the Pope," says Bill. "But I just couldn't take it when the guy next to me tapped me on the shoulder and said "Who's that up there with Sardarji?"

* * * *


A Bihari was waiting for his bus at the bus stop. Finally the bus arrives and he gets in.
The bus was fully loaded with Sardarjis. One Sardarji orders Bihari to tell a joke. Now, the Bihari thinks he’s in big trouble because he knows only Sardar jokes !
After thinking for some time he decides to substitute all references to ‘Sardars’ in his joke with ‘Biharis’. He starts the jokes with,
“There was once a Bihari…” and suddenly he gets a major blow on his back from one of the sardarjis who shouts, “Kyon be! Sab sardar mar gaye hai kya ?”
* * * *

A lie machine is bought. It works in the following way.....
If the truth is told- the machine wont give any sound If a lie is told- the machine will give a sound 'KIRRRRRRRR... '
Now there are three Indians.One Bengali,one Madrasi and one Sardarji.
Their correspondences are given infront of the lie machine.Here it goes......
Bengali :- 'I think I can eat 30 rosogullas at a time!'
Lie machine:-'KIRRRRRRRR...'
Bengali:-'No no, I think I can eat 10 rosogullas at a time'
Lie machine:- no sound(truth is told)
Madrasi:-'I think I can eat 25 dosas at a time'
Lie machine:-'KIRRRRRRRR...'
Madrasi:-'No no,I think I can eat 10 dosas at a time'
Lie machine:-no sound(truth)
Sardarji:-'I think....'
Lie machine:- 'KIRRRRRRRR...'
Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:-'KIRRRRRRRR...'.
Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:-'KIRRRRRRRR...'
Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:-''KIRRRRRRRR...'
Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:-''KIRRRRRRRR...'
Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:-''KIRRRRRRRR...'
Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:-''KIRRRRRRRR...'
Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:-''KIRRRRRRRR...

* * * *


Santa Singh stormed up to the front desk of the library and said, "I have a complaint!"
"Yes, sir?"
"I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!"
"What was wrong with it?"
"It had way too many characters and there was no plot whatsoever!"
The librarian nodded and said, "Ahh. So you must be the person who took our phone book."
* * * *

Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"
"Just a sec," comes an answer.
"Thank you." says the Sardarji and hangs up!

* * * *

A sardarji was working as editor in a daily newspaper. Once he was traveling to Bombay to deliver a speech about railway department
improvements. His coach was the last coach in the train. The train was moving very fast and so sardarji's coach was jerking heavily. This made
him not to prepare for the speech.
Annoyed by the event, next day in the meeting, his first point
towards improvement of railway department was
""There should not be last coach in any train.""

* * * *

Sardar: in my dreams rats play football evry night
DR: take this tablet you will be ok
Sardar: Can I take tommorrow, tonight is final match.