SARDARJI AGAIN

Boss: Where were you born?
Sardar: India ..
Boss: which part?
Sardar: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India .




2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb
explodes while fixing.
Sardar 2: Dont worry, I have one more.




Sardar: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.
Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.


Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.
Click here to join nidokidos
Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken..
Sardar: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.


At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Sardar: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?


Sardar: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Sardar: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is 'All India Radio! '


NOW THE LAST TWO ULTIMATE:
In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Sardar: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. .....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Sardar: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup....


Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Sardar: An old king's skeleton.
Tourist: Who's that smaller skeleton next to it?
Sardar: That was same king's skeleton when he was a child.

Jumping Red Light

Microsoft's Calculator failed.

Microsoft's Calculator failed in following calculation.

Go to Start-->Run-->type Calc and Check the following... .

2704/50 = 54.08 Works Fine
2704/51 = 53.01960784 Works Fine

2704/52 = Doesn't Work . Try yourself


Microsoft Calculator Failed

Try it ....

Tomorrow Wll Be Mine!!!

I missed my day, completely today
But I would not , tomorrow
For the days are mine, world is mine
All the life is totally mine

I missed my fortune, all way today
But I would not, tomorrow
For luck can't be bad everyday
leaving just pains totally my way

I missed my path, totally today
But I would not, tomorrow
For I would reach back the right way
Making my path clear by today

I missed my soul,somewhere today
But I would not, tomorrow
For I would start my life afresh
Fragrancing my soul in every possible way

I missed my everything, only today
But I would surely not,tomorrow
Though tomorrow might not be my day
My little hope lets me live my life this way..

Wacky Definitions!!!!!!!!!!!!

Father: A banker provided by nature.


Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.


Life Insurance: A contract that keep s you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.





School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.


Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.


Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.



Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through 'the minds of either'


Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.


Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
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Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.


Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.


Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.


Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.


Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.


Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.


Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.


Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself d uring life, to be wise after death

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.


Life Insurance: A contract that keep s you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.





School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.


Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.


Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.



Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through 'the minds of either'


Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.


Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
<>

Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.


Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.


Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.


Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.


Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.


Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.


Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.


Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself d uring life, to be wise after death

Quiz

This is a quiz for people who know everything! I found out in a hurry that I didn't. These are not trick questions. They are straight questions with straight answers.



1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the
score or the leader until the contest ends.


2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?


3. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year.
What are the only two perennial vegetables?


4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?


5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy,
with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is
genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?

6. Only three words in standard English begin
with the letters 'dw' and they are all common words.
Name two of them. (dweeb is not an answer)

7. There are 14 punctuation marks in
English grammar. Can you name at least half of them?

8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never
sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.


9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter 'S..'

Answers To Quiz:

1. The one sport in which neither the spectators
nor the participants know the score or the leader
until the contest ends: Boxing

2. North American landmark constantly moving backward. Niagara Falls. The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year because of the millions of gallons of
water that rush over it every minute.

3. Only two vegetables that can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons: Asparagus and rhubarb.


4. The fruit with its seeds on the outside: Strawberry.


5. How did the pear get inside the brandy bottle? It grew inside the bottle.
The bottles are placed over pear buds when theyare small, and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for the entire growing season.
When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems.


6. Three English words beginning with dw: dwarf, dwell and dwindle.

7. Fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar Period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark, exclamation point,
quotation mark, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses.


8. The only vegetable or fruit never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh: Lettuce.


9. Six or more things you can wear on your feet beginning with 'S': Shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, skates, snowshoes,
stockings, stilts.