Wacky Definitions!!!!!!!!!!!!

Father: A banker provided by nature.


Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.


Life Insurance: A contract that keep s you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.





School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.


Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.


Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.



Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through 'the minds of either'


Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.


Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
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Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.


Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.


Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.


Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.


Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.


Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.


Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.


Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself d uring life, to be wise after death

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.


Life Insurance: A contract that keep s you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.





School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.


Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.


Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.



Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through 'the minds of either'


Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.


Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
<>

Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.


Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.


Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.


Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.


Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.


Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.


Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.


Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself d uring life, to be wise after death