The mOments that really Lived

You will find as you look back upon your life,

that the moments when you have really lived,

are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love.

Immature love says,

"I love you because I need you.

" Mature love says,

"I need you because I love you."

The quality of love and the duration of a relationship are in direct

proportion to the depth of the commitment by both people

to making the relationship successful.

Commit yourself wholeheartedly and unconditionally to

the most important people in your life.

How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry

and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?

Love is like a friendship caught on fire.

In the beginning a flame,

very pretty, often hot and fierce,

but still only light and flickering.

As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love

becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable.

It's easy to fall in love.

The hard part is finding someone to catch you.

Love doesn't make the world go round.

Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.

For you see, each day I love you more.

Today more than yesterday and less than tomorrow.

Of all forms of caution,

caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness.

When the power of love,

overcomes the love of power,

the world will know peace.

Two things only a man cannot hide:

that he is drunk and that he is in love.

ഞാന്‍ സ്നേഹമാണ്. - (Mini orkutil etta kavitha.)

സ്വാര്‍തമീ ലോകം, ഇത് സ്വാര്തരുടെ ലോകം,
സ്നേഹമേ നിനക്കിവിടെ അസ്തിത്വമില്ല
മനസ്സേ, നീ തെടിയതെന്തു? നേടിയതെന്ത്?
സ്നേഹം മാത്രം തേടിയപ്പോള്‍ ...
ഉണങ്ങാത്ത മുറിവുകള്‍ മാത്രം നേടി നീ..
വഞ്ചനയുടെ സ്വരം,, വക്രതയുടെ ഭീകര രൂപം,,
കപടമായ സ്നേഹം,,സ്വാര്‍ഥമായ സ്നേഹം,,
ഇവയാണ് എനിക്ക് കിട്ടിയ പ്രതിഫലങ്ങള്‍.
എന്തിനായിരുന്നു? ആര്‍ക്കു വേണ്ടിയായിരുന്നു??
എന്‍റെ ഹൃദയത്തിനേറ്റ മുറിവുകള്‍,,
അവയുടെ ആഴം.. നീ അറിയുന്നുവോ??
വഞ്ചനയുടെ ചിരി കാട്ടി ഇനിയും നീ തിരികെ വന്നാല്‍ ,,
അപ്പോഴും ഞാന്‍ സ്വീകരിക്കും,, നിന്നെ സ്നേഹിക്കും,,
കാരണം എന്തെന്നോ?..
ഇനിയും മുരിവേല്‍ക്കപ്പെടാന്‍ ഈ ഹൃദയത്തില്‍ എവിടെയോ
ഇടമുണ്ട്,,
ഇനിയും ആഴമുണ്ട്,,
ഇനിയും സ്നേഹമുണ്ട്,,
ഞാനും പഠിക്കേണ്ടിയിരിക്കുന്നു,,, വഞ്ചിക്കാന്‍,,,
സ്വാര്തയാവാന്‍...
സാധിക്കുമോ എനിക്ക്???
നിന്നെ പോലെയാവാന്‍ എനിക്കെന്തേ കഴിയുന്നില്ല????
എനിക്കാവില്ല.....
ഞാന്‍ സ്നേഹമാണ്

101+ Romantic Things to Do with Your Lifemate

1. Watch the sunset together. 2. Take showers together. 3. Back rubs/massages. 4. Listen to classical music and cuddle in the dark or with blacklight. 5. French Kiss. 6. Hold your wife with hands inside the back of her shirt. 7. Whisper to each other. 8. Cook for each other. 9. Skinny dip (discreetly). 10. Make out in the rain. 11. Dress each other. 12. Undress each other. 13. Kiss every part of your wife's body. 14. Hold hands. 15. Sleep together. (Actually sleep with each other...not sex) 16. One word...Foreplay. 17. Sit and talk. 18. Buy gifts for each other. 19. Roses. 20. Wear your lifemate's favorite cologne/perfume every time you're together. 21. Wear your husband's clothes. 22. Find a nice secluded place to lie and watch the stars. 23. Incense/candles/oils/blacklights and music make for great cuddling/sex. 24. Kiss at every chance you get. 25. Don't wear underwear and let them find out. 26. Kinky is bad...Blindfolds are good. 27. Lightly kiss their collarbone and their jawbone just below the ear, then whisper "I love you". 28. Bubble baths. 29. Go for a long walk down the beach at midnight. 30. Make love. 31. Write poetry for each other. 32. Kiss and smell your wife's hair. 33. Hugs are the universal medicine. 34. Say "I love you", only when you mean it and make sure they know you mean it. 35. Give random gifts of flowers/candy/poetry, etc. 36. Tell your wife that she's the only girl you ever want. Don't lie. 37. Spend every second possible together. 38. Tell your wife that she doesn't have to do anything she doesn't want to. And mean it. 39. Look into each other's eyes. 40. Very lightly push up your wife's chin, look into her eyes, tell her you love her, and kiss her lightly. 41. Talk to each other using only body language and your eyes. 42. When in public, flirt with each other. 43. Walk behind your wife and put your hands in her front pockets. 44. Put love notes in your lifemate's pockets when they aren't looking. 45. Clothes are no fun. 46. Buy your wife a ring. 47. Keep something special of your wife's/your husband's somewhere where you see it everyday. 48. Sing to each other. 49. Read to each other. 50. PDA = Public Displays of Affection. 51. Take advantage of any time alone together. 52. Tell your wife about how you answered every question in math with her name. (Assuming you're continuing your education). 53. Draw. (If you can.) 54. Let your wife sit on your lap. 55. Go hiking and camp out together in the woods or on a mountain. 56. Lips were made for kissing. So were eyes, and fingers, and cheeks, and collarbones, and hands, and ears. 57. Kiss your wife's stomach. 58. Always hold your wife around her hips/sides. 59. Husbands like half-shirts. 60. Take your wife to dinner and do the dinner for two deal. 61. Spaghetti...(Ever see Lady and the Tramp?) 62. Hold your wife's hand, stare into her eyes, kiss her hand and then put it over your heart. 63. Unless you can feel their heart beating, you aren't close enough. 64. Dance together. 65. Sit in front of a roaring fire and make out/make love. 66. Tell your lifemate you love the way they look right after they've fallen asleep, with their head in your lap. 67. Carry your wife to bed. 68. Waterbeds are fun. 69. You figure it out. 70. Do cute things like write "I love you" in a note so that they have to look in the mirror to read it. 71. Break every one of your 'safe' relationship rules for your lifemate. 72. Make excuses to call your lifemate repeatedly in one day. 73. Even if you are really busy doing something, go out of your way to call and say "I love you". 74. Call from your business trip to tell your lifemate you were thing about them. 75. Remember your dreams and tell your lifemate about them. 76. Drive home from work just to see your lifemate, before turning around and going back to a business meeting in the evening. 77. Sit in your car in the driveway, honk, then blow your lifemate a kiss as you leave for work. 78. Tell each other your most sacred secrets/fears. 79. Share your deepest convictions. 80. Be Prince/Princess Charming to your lifemate's parents. 81. Act out mutual fantasies together. (Not necessarily sexual) 82. Brush your wife's hair out of her face for her. 83. Stay up all night to think of 101 ways to be sweet to your lifemate. 84. Hang out with your lifemate's friends, too. 85. Learn to listen. 86. Take your wife to see a romantic movie and remember the parts she liked. 87. Cuddle together under a full moon on a clear night. 88. Learn from each other and don't make the same mistakes twice. 89. Everyone deserves a second chance. 90. Describe the joy you feel just to be with your lifemate. 91. Make sacrifices for each other. 92. Really love each other. 93. Write a fictional story about how you met/fell in love, etc. and give it to your lifemate. 94. Let there never be a second during any given day that you aren't thinking about them, and make sure they know it. 95. Hot tubs are great. 96. Learn to say sweet things in foreign languages, including sign language. 97. Dedicate songs to them on the radio. 98. Fall asleep on the phone with each other. 99. Sleep naked together. 100. Stand up for your lifemate when someone says unkind things about them. 101. Never forget the kiss goodnight. And always remember to say, "Sweet dreams." 102. Groom your spouse. Ask to brush your wife's hair when she gets out of the shower. Shave your husband's face. 103. A Short Story - You know the guys that go around in restaurants and bars with the basket of roses selling them? My husband sought him out one evening before coming home from work, bought the entire basket of roses, and left them on my doorstep, then called me and told me to go to the front door! That was so romantic! 104. Be waiting at your mates car when they get off work, out of the beauty salon, get done grocery shopping...be creative! 105. Buy 11 real roses and one fake one...leave a note that says I'll love you until the last rose dies... -Mark Ansley 106. Kiss your mate on their forehead. 107. While your lifemate is out. Put a bag of Hershey hugs on the door knob. Put rose peddles mixed with Hershey kisses on the floor leading to the bathroom with lights off. Candles for your light lined up all the way to the bathroom also. Two dozen roses lined all over the bathtub. With a card in plain view. And on the card write " Now that I have hugged u before u walked in the door, kissed the ground that you walk on, and showered you with roses. Will you be mine 4-ever." - Joseph Wade Stepp 108. I am in the military so for anyone that has a long distant relationship with their spouse. They can create a jewelry box, you can buy all you need at an inexpensive gift shop store, and decorate it with the things she likes to send you in her letter or emails, for example hearts and stars and stick them all over the box. Then inside the box you can write a thought for every day of what you remember as your great memories with her in your relationship, or things you like about her, reasons why you fell in love with her or even things you want to plan with her for the future. Then tell her when she receives this magic box that when ever she feels lonely like me when I am not with her or thinks of what I am thinking about throughout the day, she can open the box and be reminded that she is all I am thinking about. 109. Take a latex balloon (not inflated) and fill it with some confetti, a love note to your lifemate and a photo of yourself. Take the balloon to a balloon shop and have them fill it with helium while the items are still in the balloon. Attach a pin and a note that says; "Please pop" to the balloon string. Leave the balloon by your lifemate's bedside before he/she wakes up in the morning. My husband really enjoyed this romantic action. 110. Post a Lovenote to her, even if she is with you, using her office/house address or care off her friend's postal address.

276 QUESTIONS TO ASK BEFORE YOU MARRY

WORK 1. Are you working on your chosen field? 2. How many hours a week do you work? 3. What does your job entail? (For example, do you often travel for business, work at home, performs dangerous tasks?) 4. What is your dream job? 5. Have you ever been called a workaholic? 6. What is your retirement plan? What do you plan to do when you stop working? 7. Have you ever been fired? 8. Have you ever quit a job suddenly? Have you changed jobs a lot? 9. Do you consider your work a career or just a job? 10. Has your work ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship? HOME 11. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be? 12. Do you prefer urban, suburban, or rural settings? 13. Is it important to have your own private home, or do you prefer apartment or condo living, with a management company responsible for the maintenance? Are you a do-it yourselfer, or would you rather hire professionals? Do you prefer to clean your own home or hire a housekeeper? 14. Do you think of your home as a cocoon, or is your door always open? What do you need to feel energized and inspired in your home? 15. Is quiet important in your home, or do you prefer having music or some background noise most of the time? Is it important to have a TV in the bedroom? Living room? Kitchen? Do you like to sleep with the TV or radio on? 16. How important is it for you to have a space in your home that is yours alone? 17. Have differences about home style ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship? 18. If you had unlimited resources, how would you live? 19. How important is it for you to make a lot of money? 20. What is your annual income? 21. Do you pay alimony or child support? 22 Do you believe in prenuptial agreements? Under what circumstances? 23. Do you believe in establishing a family budget? 24. Should individuals within a marriage have separate bank accounts in addition to joint accounts? Do you feel that bills should be divided based on a percentage of each person's salary? 25. Who should handle the finances in your family? 26. Do you have significant debts? 27. Do you gamble? 28. Did you have a paying job when you were in high school? Before high school? 29. Have you ever been called cheap or stingy? 30. Do you believe that a certain amount of money should be set aside for pleasure, even if you�re on a tight budget? 31. Have you ever used money as a way of controlling a relationship? Has anyone ever tried to control you with money? 32. Has money ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship? RELATIONSHIP HISTORY 33. Have you ever felt deeply insecure in a relationship? Were you able to name your fear? 34. When was the first time you felt that you were in love with another person? What happened in that relationship, and how have you come to terms with it? 35. What is the longest relationship you have ever had prior to this one? Why did it end, and what lesson did you learn? 36. Have you ever been married? If so, are you divorced or widowed? How do you think you handled the loss? 37. If you have a current partner, do they know of behaviors that you exhibited in your previous relationship that you�re not proud of? 36. Do you believe that past relationships should be left in the past and not talked about in your current relationship? 39. Do you tend to judge current partners on past relationships? 40. Have you ever sought marriage counseling? What did the experience teach you? 41. Do you have children from previous marriages or non-marital relationships? What is your relationship with them? How do you see your relationship with them in the future? 42. Have you ever been engaged to be married but didn�t go through with the wedding? 43. Have you ever had a live-in partner? Why did you choose to live together instead of marrying? What did your experience teach you about the importance of marriage and about commitment? 44. Do you harbor fears that the person you love might reject you or fail out of love with you? SEX 45. What sexual activities do you enjoy the most? Are there specific sexual acts that make you uncomfortable? Be specific! This is no time to hedge. 46. Do you feel comfortable initiating sex? If yes, why? If no, why? 47. What do you need in order to be in the mood for sex? 48. Have you ever been sexually abused or assaulted? 48. What was the attitude toward sex in your family? Was it talked about? Who taught you about sex? 50. Do you use sex to self-medicate? If something upsets you, do you use sex to try and help you feel better? 51. Have you ever felt forced to have sex to �keep the peace�? Have you ever forced someone or been told that you forced someone to have sex with you to �keep the peace�? 52. Is sexual fidelity an absolute necessity in a good marriage? 53. Do you enjoy viewing pornography? 54. How often do you need or expect sex? 55. Have you ever a sexual relationship with a person of the same sex? 56. Has sexual dissatisfaction ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship? HEALTH 57. How would you describe the current state of your health? 58. Have you ever had a serious illness? Have you ever had surgery? 58. Do you believe it is a sacred responsibility to take care of yourself? Do you believe that taking care of your physical and mental health is a part of honoring your marriage vows? 60. Are there genetic diseases in your family or a history of cancer, heart disease, or chronic illness? 61. Do you have health insurance? Dental insurance? 62. Do you belong to a gym? If so, how much time do you spend at the gym every week? 63. Do you play sports or take exercise classes? 64. Have you ever been in a physically or emotionally abusive relationship? 65. Have you ever suffered from an eating disorder? 66. Have you ever been in a serious accident? 67. Do you take medication? 68. Have you ever had a sexually transmitted disease? P.. Have you ever been treated for a mental disorder? 70. Do you see a therapist? 71. Do you smoke, or have you ever smoked? 72. Do you consider yourself an addictive personality, and have you ever suffered from an addiction? Have you ever been told you have an addiction problem, even though you might disagree? 73. How much alcohol do you drink every week? 74. Do you use recreational drugs? 75. Do you have a medical problem that impacts your ability to have a satisfying sex life (for example, erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, vaginal dryness, drug/alcohol addiction, etc)? 76. Have any of these health problems ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship? APPEARANCE 77. How important is it that you always look your best? 78. How important is your spouse�s appearance? Do you have strong preferences about being with a particular physical �type�? 70. Are there cosmetic procedures that you regularly undergo? 80. Is weight control important to you? Is your spouse�s weight important to you? What would your reaction be if your partner were to gain a significant amount of weight? 81. How much money do you spend on clothing every year? 82. Do you worry about getting old? Do you worry about losing your looks? 83. What do you like and dislike about your appearance? When you were a child, were you often complimented or shamed about your looks? 84. What would your reaction be if your spouse lost a limb? A breast? How would you handle this loss? 85. Do you feel that you can have good chemistry with someone who is moderately physically attractive to you, or is a strong physical attraction necessary? Has physical appearance or �chemistry� ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship? PARENTHOOD 86. Do you want children? When? How many? Are you unable to have children? 87. Would you feel unfulfilled if you were unable to have children? 88. Who is responsible for birth control? What would you do if there were an accidental pregnancy before you planned to have children? 88. What is your view of fertility treatments? Adoption? Would you adopt if you were unable to have a child naturally? 90. What is your view of abortion? Should a husband have an equal say in whether his wife has an abortion? Have you ever had an abortion? 91. Have you ever given birth to a child or fathered a child who was put up for adoption? 92. How important is it to you that your children are raised near your extended family? 93. Do you believe that a good mother will want to breast-feed her baby? Do you believe a mother or father should stay at home with a child during the first six months of life? The first year? Longer? 94. Do you believe in spanking a child? What type of discipline do you believe in (time-out, standing in the corner, taking away privileges, etc.)? 95. Do you believe that children have rights? Do you feel that a child�s opinion should be considered when making family and life decisions, such as moving or changing schools? 96. Do you believe that children should be raised with some religious or spiritual foundation? 97. Should boys be treated the same as girls? Should they have the same rules for conduct? Should you have the same expectations for their sexual behavior? 96. Would you put your teenage daughter on birth control if you knew that she was sexually active? 97. How would you handle it if you didn�t like your child�s friends? 98. Would you put your teenage daughter on birth control if you knew that she was sexually active? 99. How would you handle it if you didn't like your child's friends? 100. In a blended family; should birth parents be in charge of making decisions for their own children? 101. Would you ever consider getting a vasectomy or having your tubes tied? Do you believe it�s your choice, or does your partner have a say? 102. Have differences concerning conception or child-raising ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship? EXTENDED FAMILIES 103. Are you close to your family? 104. Are you or have you ever been alienated from your family? 105. Do you have a difficult time setting limits with family? 106. Have you identified the childhood wound that may have sabotaged your relationships in the past�the deeply imprinted fear that made you want to escape? How were you most hurt in your family; and who hurt you? 107. How important is it that you and your partner be on good terms with each other�s families? 106. How did your parents settle conflicts when you were a child? Do people in your family carry long-term grudges? 109. How much influence do your parents still have over your decisions? 110. Have unresolved or ongoing family issues ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship? FRIENDS FRIENDS 111. Do you have a �best friend�? 112. Do you see a close friend or friends at least once a week? Do you speak to any of your friends on the phone every day? 113. Are your friendships as Important to you as your life partner is? 114. If your friends need you, are you there for them? 115. Is it important to you for your partner to accept and like your friends? 116. Is it important that you and your partner have friends in common? 117. Do you have a difficult time setting limits with friends? 118. Has a partner ever been responsible for breaking up a friendship? Have friends ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship? PETS 119. Are you an animal lover? 120. Do you have a dog, cat, or other beloved pet? 121. Is your attitude �Love me, love my dog [cat; potbellied pig]?� 122. Have you ever been physically aggressive with an animal? Have you deliberately hurt an animal? 123. Do you believe a person should give up his or her pet if it interferes with the relationship? 124. Do you consider pets members of your family? 125. Have you ever been jealous of a partner�s relationship with a pet? 126. Have disagreements about pets ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship? POLITICS 127. Do you consider yourself liberal, moderate, or conservatives, or do you reject political labels? What was the attitude in your family about political involvement and social action? 128. Do you belong to a political party? Are you actively involved? 128. Did you vote in the last presidential election? Congressional election? Local election? 130. Do you believe that two people of differing political ideologies can have a successful marriage? 131. Do you believe that the political system is skewed against people of color, poor people, and the disenfranchised? 132. Which political issues do you care about? (For example, equality national security, privacy, the environment, the budget; women�s rights, gay rights, human rights, etc.). 133. Has politics ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship? COMMUNITY 134. Is it important for you to be involved in your local community? 135. Do you like having a close relationship with your neighbors? For example, would you give a neighbor a spare key to your home? 136. Do you regularly participate in community projects? 137. Do you believe that good fences make good neighbors? 138. Have you ever had a serious dispute with a neighbor? 139. Do you take pains to be considerate of your neighbors (for example, keeping a lid on loud music, barking dogs, etc.)? CHARITY 140. How important is it to you to contribute time or money to charity? 141. Which kind of charities do you like to support? How much of your annual income do you donate to charity? 142. Do you feel that it is the responsibility of the �haves� of the world to help the �have-nots�? 143. Have attitudes about charitable contributions ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship? MILITARY 144. Have you served in the military? 145. Have your parents or other relatives served in the military? 146. Would you want your children to serve in the military? 147. Do you personally identify more with a nonviolent approach, or with making change through military force and action? 148. Has military service or attitudes about military service ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship? THE LAW 149. Do you consider yourself a law-abiding person? 150. Have you ever committed a crime? If yes, what was it? 151. Have you ever been arrested? If yes, for what? 152. Have you ever been in jail? If yes, why? 153. Have you ever been involved in a legal action or lawsuit? If yes, what were the circumstances? 154. Have you ever been the victim of a violent crime? If yes, describe what happened. 156. Do you believe it�s important to be rigorously honest when you pay taxes? 156. Have you ever failed to pay child support? If so, why? 157. Have legal or criminal issues ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship? MEDIA 158. Where do you get your news (for example, TV news programs, radio, newspapers, newsmagazines, the Internet, friends)? 159. Do you believe what you read and see in the news, or do you question where information is coming from and what the true agenda is? 100. Do you seek out media with diverse perspectives on the news? 161. Have media differences ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship? RELIGION 162. Do you believe in God? What does that mean to you? 163. Do you have a current religious affiliation? Is it a big part of your life? 164. When you were growing up, did your family belong to a church, synagogue, temple, or mosque? 185. Do you currently practice a different religion from the one in which you were raised? 166. Do you believe in life after death? 167. Does your religion impose any behavioral restrictions (dietary, social, familial, sexual) that would affect your partner? 168. Do you consider yourself a religious person? A spiritual person? 169. Do you engage in spiritual practices outside of organized religion? 170. How important is it to you for your partner to share your religious beliefs? 171. How important is it to you for your children to be raised in your religion? 172. Is spirituality a part of your daily life and practice? 173. Has religion or spiritual practice ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship? CULTURE 174. Does popular culture have an important impact on your life? 175. Do you spend time reading about, watching, or discussing actors, musicians, models, or other celebrities? 176. Do you think most celebrities have a better, more exciting life than you do? (By the way, if they do, maybe it's because they are living their lives, while you are watching them live their lives. Are you wasting the opportunity and gift to live your own life?) 177. Do you regularly go to the movies, or do you prefer to rent movies and watch them at home? 178. What is your favorite style of music? 179. Do you attend concerts featuring your favorite musicians? 180. Do you enjoy going to museums or art shows? 181. Do you like to dance? 182. Do you like to watch TV for entertainment? 183. Have attitudes or behaviors around popular culture ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship? LEISURE 184. What is your idea of a fun day? 185. Do you have a hobby that�s important to you? 186. Do you enjoy spectator sports? 187. Are certain seasons off-limits for other activities because of football, baseball, basketball, or other sports? 168. What activities do you enjoy that don�t involve your partner? How important is it to you that you and your partner enjoy the same leisure activities? 189. How much money do you regularly spend on leisure activities? 190. Do you enjoy activities that might make your partner uncomfortable, such as hanging out in bars drinking, going to strip clubs, or gambling? 191. Have leisure time issues ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship? 192. Do you enjoy entertaining, or do you worry that you�ll do something wrong or people won�t have a good time? 193. Is it important for you to attend social events regularly, or does the prospect rarely appeal to you? 194. Do you look forward to at least one night out every week, or do you prefer to enjoy yourself at home? 195. Does your work involve attending social functions? If so, are these occasions a burden or a pleasure? Do you expect your spouse to be present, or do you prefer that your spouse not be present? 196. Do you socialize primarily with people from work, or with people from the same ethnic/racial/religious/ socioeconomic background? Or do you socialize with a diverse mix of people? 197. Are you usually the �life of the party," or do you dislike being singled out for attention? 198. Have you or a partner ever had an argument caused by one or the other�s behavior at a social function? 199. Have differences about socializing ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship? HOLIDAY AND BIRTHDAYS 286. Which (if any holidays do you believe are the most important to celebrate? 201. Do you maintain a family tradition around certain holidays? 202. How important are birthday celebrations to you? Anniversaries? 203. Have differences about holidays/birthdays ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship? TRAVEL / VACATIONS 204. Do you enjoy traveling, or are you a homebody? 205. Are vacation getaways an important part of your yearly planning? 206. How much of your annual income do you designate for vacation and travel expenses? 207. Do you have favorite vacation destinations? Do you believe it's wasteful to spend money on vacations to distant places? 206. Do you think it's important to have a passport? To speak a foreign language? 209. Have disputes about travel and vacation ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship? EDUCATION 210. What is your level of formal education? Is your education a source of pride or shame? 211. Do you regularly sign up for courses that interest you, or enroll in advanced-learning programs that will help you in your career or profession? 212. Do you think that college graduates are smarter than people who didn�t attend college? Have disparities in education ever been a source of tension for you in a relationship, or ended a relationship? 213. How do you feel about private school education for children? Do you have a limit on how much you would be willing to invest in private school education? 214. Have education levels or priorities ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship? TRANSPORTATION 215. Do you own or lease a car? Would you ever consider not having a car? 216. Is the year, make, and model of the car you drive important to you? Is your car your �castle�? 217. Are fuel efficiency and environmental protection factors when you choose a car? 218. Given the availability of reliable public transportation, would you prefer not to drive a car at all? 219. How much time do you spend maintaining and caring for your vehicle? Are you reluctant to let others drive your car? 220. How long is your daily commute? Is it by bus, train, car, or carpool? 221. Do you consider yourself a good driver? Have you ever received a speeding ticket? 222. Have cars or driving ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship? COMMUNICATION 223. How much time do you spend on the phone every day? 224. Do you have a cell phone? A BlackBerry? 225. Do you belong to any Internet chat groups? Do you spend significant time each day writing c-mails? 226. Do you have an unlisted telephone number? If yes, why? 227. Do you consider yourself a communicator or a private person? 228. What are the circumstances under which you would not answer the telephone, cell phone, or BlackBerry? 229. Has modem communication ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship? MEALTIME 230. Do you like to eat most of your meals sitting at the table, or do you tend to eat on the run? 231. Do you love to cook? Do you love to eat? 232. When you were growing up, was it important that everybody be present for dinner? 233. Do you follow a specific diet regimen that limits your food choices? Do you expect others in your household to adhere to certain dietary restrictions? 234. In your family is food ever used as a bribe or a proof of love? 235. Has eating ever been a source of shame for you? 236. Have eating and food ever been a source of tension and stress in a relationship? Have they ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship? GENDER ROLE 237. Are there household responsibilities you believe to be the sole domain of a man or a woman? Why do you believe this? 238. Do you believe that marriages are stronger if a woman defers to her husband in most areas? Do you need to feel either in control or taken care of? 239. How important is equality in a marriage? Define what you mean by �equality.� 340. Do you believe that roles in your family should be filled by the person best equipped for the job, even if it is an unconventional arrangement? 341. How did your family view the roles of girls and boys, men and women? In your family; could anyone do any job as long as it got done well? 242. Have different ideas about gender roles ever been a source of tension for you in a relationship, or the cause of a breakup? RACE, ETHNICITY, AND DIFFERENCES 243. What did you learn about race and ethnic differences as a child? 244. Which of those beliefs from childhood do you still carry; and which have you shed? 245. Does your work environment look more like the United Nations, or like a mirror of yourself? How about your personal life? 246. How would you feel if your child dated someone of a different race or ethnicity? The same gender? How would you feel if he or she married this person? 247. Are you aware of your own biases regarding race and ethnicity? What are they? Where did they come from? (We aren�t born biased, we learn it, and it�s important to trace where it was learned.) 248. Have race, ethnicity, and differences ever been a source of tension and stress for you in a relationship? 249. What were your family�s views of race, ethnicity, and difference? 250. Is it important to you that your partner shares your vision of race, ethnicity, and difference? 251. Have different ideas about race, ethnicity~ and difference ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship? LIVING EVERY DAY 252. Would you consider yourself a morning person or a night person? 213. Do you judge people who have a different waking and sleeping clock than you? 254 Are you a physically affectionate person? 255. What is your favorite season of the year? 256. When you disagree with your partner, do you tend to fight or withdraw? 257. What is your idea of a fair division of labor in your household? 258. Do you consider yourself an easygoing person, or are you most comfortable with a firm plan of action? 256. How much sleep do you need every night? 260. Do you like to be freshly showered and wearing clean clothes every day, even on weekends or vacations? 261. What is your idea of perfect relaxation? 262. What makes you really angry? What do you do when you�re really angry? 263. What makes you most joyful? What do you do when you are joyful? 264. What makes you most insecure? How do you handle your insecurities? 265. What makes you most secure? 266. Do you fight fair? How do you know? 267. How do you celebrate when something great happens? How do you mourn when something tragic happens? 268. What is your greatest limitation? 269. What is your greatest strength? 270. What most stands in the way of your creating a passionate and caring marriage? 271. What do you need to do today to move toward making your dream marriage a reality? 272. What makes you most afraid? 273. What drains you of your joy and passion? 274. What replenishes your mind, body, and spirit? 275. What makes your heart smile in tough times? 276. What makes you feel the most alive? My suggestion is that you f** with all these Questions and just get married ^_^

Ten Rules to Avoid Intimacy

When most people think of intimacy, they envision physical intimacy. However, in our relations with others, psychological intimacy is needed much more — but it is engaged in much less. People often confuse the physical with the psychological. Sometimes it helps more to tell people what not to do, so they can avoid common pitfalls. In this hope, here are ten rules to avoid intimacy. Psychologists have found these rules to be effective among men and women, husbands and wives, parents and children — even with close friends.

1. Don't talk. This is the basic rule for avoiding intimacy. If you follow this one rule, you will never have to be intimate again. If you are forced to talk, don't talk about anything meaningful. Talk about the weather, baseball, school, and the stock market — anything but your feelings.

2. Never show your feelings. Showing your feelings is almost as bad as talking, because your feelings are a way of communicating. If you cry or show anger, sadness or joy, you are giving yourself away. You might as well talk, and if you talk, you could become intimate. The best thing to do is remain expressionless. (Although this is still a form of communication, it only says that you don't want to be intimate.)

3. Always be pleasant. Always smile; always be friendly, especially if something is bothering you. You'll be surprised how effective that hiding your feelings from others is in preventing intimacy. It may even fool them into thinking that everything is okay in your relationships. Then you don't have to change anything or become intimate.

4. Always win. Never compromise; never admit that another's point of view may be as good as yours. If you compromise, that is an admission that you care about another person's feelings – which could lead to intimacy.

5. Always keep busy. If you keep busy with your work, you don't have to be intimate. Others will never figure out that you are using your work to avoid intimacy. Because our culture values hard work, they will feel unjustified in complaining. Likewise, devoting yourself to work will give others the feeling that they are not as important as your work. In this way, you can make others feel unimportant in your life without even talking!

6. Always be right. There is nothing worse than being wrong, because that is an indication that you are only human. If you admit that you are wrong, you might as well admit that others are right — and that will make them look as good as you. If they are as good as you, then you may have to consider the other person. Before you know it, you will be intimate!

7. Never argue. If you argue, you may discover that you and the other person are different. If you are different, you might have to talk about the differences to make adjustments. If you begin making adjustments, you may tell the other person who you really are, what you really feel. These revelations might lead to intimacy.

8. Make others guess what you want. Never tell others what you want. That way, when others try to guess and are wrong —as they often will be — you can tell them that they don't really understand or love you. If they did love you, they would know what you want without you telling them. Not only will this prevent intimacy, but it will drive the others crazy as well.

9. Always look out for number one. Remember, you are number one. All relationships exist to fulfill your needs, not anyone else's needs. Whatever you feel like doing is okay. You're okay — the other person is not okay. If others can't satisfy your needs, they only care about themselves. (After all you are the one making the sacrifices in the relationship.)

10. Keep the television on. Keep the TV turned on at all times — during dinner, while you are reading, when you're in bed and while you are talking — especially while you are talking about something important. This rule may seem petty when compared with the others, but it is a good preventative action. Watching TV keeps you and the other person from talking to each other. Best of all, it will keep both of you from even noticing that you don't communicate. If you are concerned and have to talk, you can both be distracted by a commercial, a seduction scene or the sound of gunfire. Wouldn't you rather be watching TV than talking to the other person anyway?

However, this is not a complete list. You may know several additional ways to avoid intimacy. They may be your own invention, or you may have learned them from your spouse, friends, siblings or parents. To round out my list, you might want to list your own rules for avoiding intimacy on another sheet of paper.

On the other hand, if you want to be intimate, the above rules — along with your own — can help you to avoid the pitfalls that trap many of us...

Sardar Jokes

A Dramatic Love Story

Robot invented to crawl through veins

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SCIENTISTS FROM Israel's Technion University have unveiled a tiny robot, made using Micro-Electro-Mechanical Systems (MEMS) technology, purportedly able to crawl through a person's veins in order to diagnose and potentially treat artery blockage and cancer.

The little robot - with a diameter of just one millimeter - has neither engine nor onboard controls, instead being propelled forward by a magnetic field wielded on it from outside the patient's body.

Controlling the tiny bot externally means boffins have been able to shrink it to a previously impossibly tiny scale, allowing it to crawl its way through the typical human body's veins and arteries using miniscule outstretched arms which grip the vessel walls. Yes, that made us shudder too.

Scientists reckon the mini bot can even withstand massive blood flow and is able to push forward regardless of the magnetic field actuation direction, doing away with any need for exact localisation and direction retrieval.

A controller can move the little crawly creature in increments, with its speed of up to nine millimeters a second regulated by varying external magnetic field frequencies. Outside control also means the robot can be made to work for an unlimited amount of time, rather than suddenly - not to mention inconveniently - keeling over to die of battery failure in the middle of a medical procedure.

A small cross sectional area on the tiny robot apparently allows fluids to flow with minimal interference making intra-vascular motion more feasible, and opening up the possibility of minimally invasive medical treatments, as well as diagnosis within the body. Researchers are also apparently toying with the idea of attaching miniscule cameras to the bot, as well as other "tools" it may need to perform internal surgery.

As if getting under people's skin wasn't enough, Technion researchers say they're also looking at putting the ant-like creature to work in urban water distribution systems, to look for any leaks that need plugging.

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