Best Divorce Letter, everrrr!

Dear wife: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you are cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone. Your EX-Husband P.S. don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life! Dear Ex-Husband Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care. Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free! P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem !

Vroom, Vroom, HUH!!! Top 10 Strangest Motorcycles Ever Built

1. Victorigoth Bike?

2. Look at the huge rear end on that... motorcycle!

 

3. Missile Bike

 

4. Accessible Trike

 

5. Long Bike is Long

 

6. World's Largest Motorcycle

 

 

7. Ridiculous Chopper

 

8. Joe the Plumber's Bike

 

9. The Bike is a Lie

 

10. But You'll Look Sweet, Upon the Seat, of a Motorcycle Built for Ten

What do you think? Is it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?

I hold it true,Whate'er befall; I feel it , when I sorrow most;
"Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.... "

A Pet's 10 Commandments

1. My life is likely to last 10-15 years. Any separation from you is likely to be painful.

2. Give me time to understand what you want of me.

3. Place your trust in me. It is crucial for my well-being.

4. Don't be angry with me for long and don't lock me up as punishment. You have your work, your friends, your entertainment, but I have only you.

5. Talk to me. Even if I don't understand your words, I do understand your voice when you're speaking to me.

6. Be aware that however you treat me, I will never forget it.

7. Before you hit me, before you strike me, remember that I could hurt you, and yet, I choose not to bite you.

8. Before you scold me for being lazy or uncooperative, ask yourself if something might be bothering me. Perhaps I'm not getting the right food, I have been in the sun too long, or my heart might be getting old or weak.

9. Please take care of me when I grow old. You too, will grow old.

10. On the ultimate difficult journey, go with me please. Never say you can't bear to watch. Don't make me face this alone. Everything is easier for me if you are there, because I love you so.

Hillarious Jokes!!!!!!!!!!!

DON'T LOOK AT NAKED LADY
Boy 1: Why do you run from a naked lady?
Boy 2: Becos my mum said that if I look at a naked
lady, I'll turn into stone. A part of me is getting hard already!

NAMES OF WIVES
A malay man had 4 wives, and he called his...
4th wife..... baby doll
3rd wife.....china doll
2nd wife.....barbie doll
1st wife..... panadol !

HOW INDIA GOT ITS NAME
This is how India got its name.....
The king was having sex with his mistress while
thinking a name of his
country and his mistress ask him 'is it In Dear?'...

RESEARCH FINDING
Research shows men are fatter than women because
every-night men get fresh milk & 2 papayas
women only get 1 banana, 2 peanuts & 1 tea-spoon of starch!

ARAB MAN
An arab was being interviewed at a US checkpoint.
'Your name pls.'?
'Abdul Aziz '
'Sex? '
'Six times a week!! '
'No, no, I mean male or female! '
'Doesn't matters, sometimes even camel !'

SERVICE
Sex is like a restaurant.
Sometimes you get full satisfactory service, and
sometimes you have to be
satisfied with self-service'

HAPPY MAN
What makes a happy man?
Daughter on the cover of cosmo.
Son on the cover of sports illustrated.
Mistress on the cover of playboy
and .. Wife on the cover of 'missing
persons'

SWIMSUIT
Why was the 2-piece swimsuit invented?
To separate the HAIRY section from the DAIRY
section.

GOOD AMBITION
Teacher: What do you want to become?
Little Johnny: Doctor !!
Teacher: Why?
Little Johnny: Coz its the only profession where u can tell a woman to take
off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for it.

DENTIST
Woman complaining to dentist: 'It's so painful, I'll rather have a baby
than have a tooth removed.'
Dentist: 'Make up your mind soon, I'll adjust the chair accordingly.'

VIRGIN
Old lady, 85, a virgin, about to die. wanted her
tombstone to read :
BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN.
The engraver shortened it to: ' RETURNED UNOPENED '

OLD MAN AND YOUNG GIRL
75 yr old man got married to a 15 yr girl.
On their first night both were crying - why???
Coz she didn't know anything, and he had forgotten
everything.

Very useful website...Search for Blood Donors

Dear
> Friends,
>
>
>
>
> There
> is a site:
> www.friends2support.org
>
>
>
>
> where you can search for a Particular blood group, you will
> get thousand of
> donor addresses.
>
> Pass this message 2 all you know. It will help many. Plz
> don't delete it
> without forwarding ...
>
>
>
>
> You
> will really help some 1 without your
> knowledge.
>
>
>
>

Miss U Dear

You may be out of my sight

but never out of my mind

I Miss You.

When I miss you

I don't have to go far

I just have to look inside my heart

because that's where I'll find you.

I think we dream so

we don't have to be apart so long.

If we're in each other's dreams,

we can play together all night.

I dropped a tear in the ocean.

The day you find it

is the day I will stop missing you.

For everything you have missed

you have gained something else,

and for everything you gain

you lose something else.

I miss your love I miss your touch

But I'm feeling you everyday.

Nothing hurts more then waiting

since I don't even know

what I'm waiting for anymore.

Each time I miss you

a star falls down from the sky.

So, if you looked up at the sky

and found it dark with no stars,

it is all your fault.

You made me miss you too much!

I heard someone whisper your name

but when I turned around

to see who it was, I was alone.

Then I realized that

it was my heart telling me that I miss you.

Aaana Mutta

Giant eagle drags mountain goats.

Why do girls cut their pictures and leave only their faces

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HOW TO Appear Thinner? - 22 Tips

We all want to appear the best we can no matter what our size. Maybe you have a few extra pounds and want to camouflage them.You do not always have to lose weight in order to appear thinner. Here are some tips that will make you look and feel as if you have experienced weight loss.

Details at http://snipurl. com/eq673

How to cancel yahoo mail account

To remove your entire account, please visit Account Deletion page. (https://login.yahoo.com/config/login_verify2?.slogin=sarathhc&.intl=in&.src=&.bypass=&.partner=&.done=https%3a//edit.yahoo.com/config/delete_user&pkg=&owd=)

You will be asked to sign in to or verify your password for the account you wish to delete. Please be sure to read the next page carefully, as important information about your account is included. You can then confirm the deletion of your account

http://help.yahoo.com/l/us/yahoo/edit/changing_users/edit-23.html